8/6/10 Touching on our Agra trip. Playgerized

song being listened to --- "Make sure everyone has enough/and then we'll see the kingdom!" -- Psalters, dumpster divers

To maintain honesty and clairity, I should mention that this was not taken out of a journal entry, but an E-mail I sent alex. I may have changed a few things around, but it's basically copy and pasted.

Totally off subject... but today we went to Taj Mahal. To tell you the truth, there is nothing I'd rather do less in India than see big rich buildings which were created behind the plow-horses of War and Slavery. What really touched me today was the blue sky in agra. I havn't seen blue sky with white clouds since have been in delhi. All day I felt closer to God.

We went to this other place before Taj, and it was this palace built on a hill just outside of agra. as I rode in the auto I passed all this poverty and despair ... but as I kept riding furthur up this hill... it all started disapearing. Once inside the palace, there was a great view of the valley below, and what really struck me is that you couldn't tell that there was anything wrong in that valley. That really spoke to me... it's no wonder that Kings, Presidents, and the Pentagon officials are so far removed from their people, from the cruelty of war... the injustice of slavery. As long as a King stays in his palace, he dosen't have to see the consequences of his actions... he doesn't have to feel human pangs of guilt or sympathy. It's kind of the same reason it's so easy for us to buy clothes when we know they could be made in sweatshops.... or buy produce when we know that we could be fueling a tribal war. Idk.... I'm just rambling.... their is no real point to this chunk of writting =)

[Tonight as I was waiting for the train back to Delhi with April] I was feeling overwelmed again; partially because I havn't slept in 2 days... but also because the train stations are sites of the most depressing displays of poverty in India. There were kids all around, and an old lady begging... and there were just so many people. I had run out of money except for 40 rupees (less than a dollar) and I had no food in my bag.. and when I went to give someone my extra shirt, I realized i had left it at home.

Giving can be really tricky in India: if you give money to kids it's likely they will never see a penny of it (because they report back to their boss/slave driver). You also don't want to give if there are to many needy people around because you can be mobbed, which can leave you or the children in need injured or worse. but I was just fed up with it... the being helpless/powerless. I was gunna just buy this on little old lady a bag of peanuts and that was that!

Sure enough, (even though I did it as descretely as possible), I got surrounded by a fairly large group of beggars (actually it was only about 8.... I guess it seems like a large group with all their hands in your face) and they all wanted something. I was thinking "oh crap.. I can't even give them ANYTHING even if I wanted to". but I looked at the stand I was standing at... and I saw bags of chips for 5 ruppees each (a really good price... even for India).... and as you may have figured out, at 5 ruppees a bag, I could buy 8 bags for 40 rupees.... which was the exact ammount of money I had! It felt like the fishes and loves were multiplying before my eyes! but of course, after I gave them each a bag they didn't beleive me when I told them I literally had no money left to my name.... so they follwed me to my bench where april was. April didn't have anything to give them... and we told her not to because we were already making a scene, and it was sure to turn into a mobbing as soon as the other begging people got wind of us.... but one of the begging girls kept pointing at april's hair... at her bobby pins. April took like 10 out of her purse and distributed them among the children and they all giggled and ran off to put up their dirty hair out of their eyes and they had this look like they got the greatest thing in the world. I know we didn't do much, but it felt right. I felt peace about it. I know I can't solve the worlds problems, but I can do something.... anything that I can, you never know how much a simple thing like bobby pins or 40 rupees can be just what someone needs.

My lesson I learned was (very appropriately) a quote from Gandhi I've already heard a billion times, "Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you, but it is most important that you do it."